The wind blew so hard, the sky turned dark, the clouds were heavy. It was going to pour. I could see the birds flew by through that little window in my room. “Kling, kling, kling,” the wind chime hanging on the front porch of my neighbor’s house sang to a beautiful melody.
I was lying on a daybed in my room reading a book randomly picked from the shelf. The musty smell from the old books stayed on my hair. The smell spells familiarity, just like a usual perfume that I used to wear on the some of the days. All these little details are still so vivid in my mind.
As I lie on the bed, I thought to myself, “Where would I be if I chose the other path and not this? What would I be doing now?” I smiled as I looked down to that broken camera on my lap while the memories flash before my eyes.
It was one of the usual nights in the weekends. I was sitting down on my study table, clicking away on my laptop to the usual websites I frequently visit. I then paused as I heard a person at the door. “Why are you still not sleeping? What are you doing?” a soft spoken voice from the door asked. It was my dad.
“Nothing,” I said as I close the lid of my laptop as a sign of ignorance. He then silently made his way to his room.
I was a young girl with all that passion and enthusiasm in me but confidence was lacking. In the outside, I looked like a happy child who had everything that anyone else could not have asked for more, but deep in me, I was just another lonely child.
Perfect scores and good testimonials were all I had to impress everyone in the family. “You’ve done a great job,” is one of the usual lines that I hear from everyone. I do them proud but I wasn’t feeling happy at all over the endless compliments.
Just when I thought nobody could ever understand what I really wanted in my life, there was this person who gave a start to my little world that I once thought was lived for everyone else but me.
“Here, take this.” My dad said as he handed me a pink digital camera. I was puzzled and I startled for a moment.
“It’s a camera..” I thought in my heart.
It was that little something that gave me a sense of direction. I was wrong, for so many years in my life. Science isn’t my thing. Art is. I took photographs of the world from my point of view. The feeling of seeing the world through that viewfinder is amazing.
After two years of taking pictures, I had enough money to buy myself a better one. My confidence slowly builds up as I’ve found the path that I really want to walk through in my life. Choosing Mass Communication as my major in University also helps to strengthen that belief that I had in me. That is, to be someone that I really want to be and not for anyone else.
Recognition from people around me is suffice to keep myself strong from falling apart.
“You take great pictures. I could feel the soul in the photographs.” It was the first time I was recognized of my skills and I was then given paid assignments on something that I enjoy doing. Yes, I did it.
Although the camera that I first had is broken, but I will always remember the feeling of it being held in my hands, confident. Photography gave me so many things that I thought I will never have.
I smiled as I looked upon the colorful photographs that are stuck on the wall of my room. Those are lost pieces of my life that I have slowly recollected.
“Thank you.” I said as I watch the pouring sky through that little window.
